Sometimes I don't want to smile. But in a capitalist society, smiling is money. And it pays to smile. It's healthy to smile. It's healthy to think positive. And I will agree, being positive has its benefits like that new job you just got. So what about when you don't want to smile? when you don't feel like being positive?
Children are not allowed to express the full range of emotions as children. In schools, they are not allowed to cry and when they do, there is a feeling something is wrong. We are told as children 'don't cry' when we want to cry and this is where it started. Crying is seen as something negative, and so we are taught to stop crying. 'Big boys don't cry" and now there is 'big girls don't cry.' How many of us when we cry turn our heads away? Or run for tissue? There is a hidden belief in our world that there something bad about crying. They are also not allowed to be angry and seen as dangerous if they demonstrate less than academic cheerfulness.
The conspiracy against what we call negative feelings and thinking is rooted in a belief that showing anything less than positiveness is dangerous, evil, and bad. Our negative feelings must be locked up at all cost, we are taught, and even teach others. Religions and new age spiritualities have a belief that being spiritual means always being calm, cheerful, and showing our best face. I've learned that some of the most negative people can be the most spiritual as they preach a happiness philosophy and yet hide their shadows.
Am I telling you to go out and show your anger, sorrow, and anxiety? No. Each person deals with their feelings in ways that works for them. Maybe they express those negative feelings with a therapist, a family member, friends, strangers, pets, or just to themselves through some kind of creative arts, sports, etc. Don't you just want to vent sometimes? Let it all out? Don't you hate when somebody is telling you that you are being 'negative' or a 'downer'? If you are being negative ALL THE TIME, then it can definitely be a problem but if you are expressing a point of view, or something they perceive as negative, then that is not your problem-its theirs.
What I am speaking of is allowing ourselves to be fully human through expressing our emotions and moving beyond labeling them as positive and negative. We are meant to express our feelings and unfortunately we are programmed to believe that something is wrong with us if we express anything less than positive, anything critical, and anything that makes others uncomfortable. There is something uplifting, powerful, and deeply spiritual in crying, anger, and so-called negative feelings.
I don't want to bore you with my metaphysical ramblings but we are not here to be perfect by any means. We need a place to express our discomfort as we also search for places of peace and joy. We need a place for displaying all emotions and not just a few. We need relationships and a spirituality that embraces the total human and not part-time human. Could this be why we love sports, arts, music and how they allow us to express those emotions we cannot express at work, at home, or among well-meaning friends.
I cry a few times each month. Its good for me. I get the blues and I'm riding a river of tears. Then other times, I am angry-at myself, world events, people-but then I learn to let it go. The traumas of life is in not being able to express ourselves, our living energies. All life is expression. Whether we call our feelings positive or negative, we deserve to experience ourselves fully in the moment.
And now is the moment. Life is Now.
