Obama Is Not My President (Warning: Rated M)

He's the dream of ancestors. He's powerful. He's charismatic. He's the hope of nations. He's the ace. He's the bullseye. And he believes. In The 'American Dream.' And all that it can offer and more. But he's naive and I just don't see why I need him. As my president, of course.

I can read. I can write. I can think. I can dream. I can learn. I don't need Obama The President to tell me. I don't need him to inspire me. I can do that myself. Am I helpless? Hopeless? Lost? Am I lacking in confidence? I don't see why I need a leader. I can be my own. I want to be my own. I want to be my leader. That's why I have an ego. It makes decisions according to my ideas and beliefs. I don't need Obama to make promises to me. I just don't. I'm intuitive enough to make my own decisions.

But people tell me I should vote. I never voted in my life. So naturally I didn't vote for Obama. I didn't vote for anybody. I remember on that day of voting, I was speaking to kids in class. I stayed away from the booths. And I didn't complain about it all. I just accepted that he was going to be President. Somebody was going to be a puppet in Office. I knew it would happen. And I don't know all about politics. It's celebrityism. Another form of power and rallying the masses for the purpose of benefitting those in positions of power and then they make the decision of giving just a little bit to voters. And not even that. But I'm not a pessimist. I'm an optimist. That's why Obama is not my President. He's not my president because I am happy to call myself a leader of my own reality. I'm just an observer to the things Obama is doing and will do. And all the other ones for that matter.

I don't want to write that much about him, or his politician buddies, Congress. It's feel a bit tedious, boring, and I sense I may tread into 'conspiracy' talks. Or Anti-American. Terroristspeak. But that's not the case. Not even close. I'm not for America or against America. I'm not pro-this or anti-that. It's just before Obama won I told my friends things would be the same just in new clothing. They said I needed to lighten up. It's a brand new day. I agree it's a brand new day. But not a brand new idea. Soldiers are still being killed in war. Unemployment rates are up. Need I go on?

But I know people will say: "You, Maurice, may believe you don't need him, but the people do. He's what the world has been waiting for. He's hope for a lot of people. Blacks, minorities, whites, foreigners. What more can you say? Why are you saying these things? Why can't you just be positive, happy, and get over it? Why are you complaining? SSSSSHHHHH...Keep quiet!!!"

He's just not my president...see there is a country inside of me that only I can rule and nobody else. A country I call my own. And I don't need to argue on how to rule that country. The voice I hear is within. It is my own. I don't need to create a puppet, fight, manipulate, and destroy to change that country in me.

Just let it be me...ruling all that is inside of me...leaving islands within islands, countries afar, traveling through skies of worlds, heavens begs nothing but a star, living carefully, creating anew, Obama, a brother, indeed in grand spirit, but not my president, that is true...you are not my president, just a lovely dream, at first, like an exotic honeymoon, but now a political cream who soothes before the bathe, a hope of hopeless, what you know you gave, a smile, a wink, a shake, and a blink...a word of hope, to those who don't think, lies have been told, jobs have been sold, let these words reign through new & old ages & years...Obama, Obama, Obama, you are not my president...no apologies...no tears.

Stumbling Through An Idiot Universe

It happens. You wake up. You look around you. Is it the night? Or the day? You take notice of the world around you. You look in the mirror. You ask yourself, "Where am I? How did I get here? Where am I going?" Things look good. Life is good. Nothing can rain on your parade. Did you remember to check your Twitter message? Did you remember to check your Facebook? "People like this," you tell yourself. I must be doing something right. They like this. I don't want anybody to tell me different. I don't want anybody to disagree with me. Just tell me you like this. Makes me feel good. God, I want to feel so good. Just make me feel good.

And the day moves along. People are smiling. Hearts are open. The grocery clerk notices your walk, your hair, your dress, your smell, your shining car, your style. You have been reading those books on positive thinking & feeling good about yourself. You have been listening to self-help tapes on making money, getting along with others, & working things out with yourself. You have been thinking about your inner child, your parents, keeping a journal, and saying all the wonderful things you want to say to others on your Facebook wall, Twitter messages: "Be positive. Stay strong. Keep your head up. Don't let people get you down."

Still, you cannot forget when you woke up this morning. It was a strange feeling. You don't want others to know. It happened for a split second. You didn't know where you were. You felt there was more to reality than what you had been told by well-meaning teachers, friends, and family. You felt it ring through you. But you don't want others to know you felt uncertain about things even in your positive thinking & affirmation of self. You felt that strangeness in the air. It pressed your faced against the mirror. You looked closer at yourself. Questions began to circulate in your mind. No, no, you're not suppose to be asking questions, you tell yourself.

I'm suppose to have it all together. I'm not supposed to stumble. I'm supposed to be strong. Have it together. Oh, wait! I need to be strong, positive, and have it all together because people expect that of me. No, wait...that's what I expect of myself. I'm strong. I know. Yes, I know. I should know. People expect me to know. I'm special they tell me. I have a better grasp of things than other people. I can do this better than others. I am powerful. Don't you know that? I don't stumble.

Last night I had a dream I was somebody else. But, how can that be? Last night I dreamed I had died, and started a new life. But, how can that be? Last night I dreamed I was a deer alone in the forest, running swiftly, powerfully, masterfully. How can that be? Last night I dreamed I was someone stumbling.

Through an idiot universe made of impulses, trusts, and divine lusts. It is a universe growing, expanding, developing itself through me, and my many identities. A universe that is learning as I am...a universe that trusts more I than I do. A universe that doesn't need the questions as much as the answers that live within. That idiot universe carries me as I stumble through and lifts me when I fall. Though I may stumble through this idiot universe, I am learning to remember that I don't have to be perfect, special, and important. To an idiot universe, all things collapse into a unknown world of new beginnings. And that's okay! :0