Even A Christ Loves Balloons: Thoughts On A New Year's Resurrection

I'm sure you can think about the best and worst events of 2011, in your personal and professional life, or someone else's life. You can think about how tough the days were, how your life and someone's life was becoming more and more difficult to handle, or maybe the opposite was true: your life began to get better, or you were witnessing someone else's life improving. It was a year full of sheer excitement, amazing adventures, positive news, and enlightening events.

I won't bore you with the details of my 2011 life adventures. However, I will say this: It was a year of allowing myself to receive new ideas, remember things I'd forgotten, and connect with greater aspects of myself. It was a year of helping family and friends. It was a year of reminding friends how valuable their lives are just as much as the people they worship perhaps.

2011 was a year of embracing abundance and the beauty of being in a physical body. It was remembering that there is an important lesson in accepting myself as a physical creature on Earth. It was a year of prosperity and trusting in the goodness of the universe. It was a year of witnessing millions of people stand up for what they believe in. It was a year of getting grounded and doing the work. It was a year of being in the wisdom of knowing there are wonderful tools and teachers from all walks of life who can assist us in developing ourselves as spiritual beings. It was a year of moments of despair and despondency. It was a year of renewal and remembering.

Also, when I reflect upon '2011,' I think about the 'un-events'-the events that did not take place, in this world, the probable events of my soul, events happening on the other side of time and space-and how they affect my journey this years as much as the events I gave birth to. Now this may sound a bit strange. If you are used to thinking of life in linear terms, then I understand. There are many many choices that I considered making that were not manifested. They live in another dimension somewhere else, in parallel universes. But I will save that discussion for another 'time.'

As we slide into another new year, our ego will also shift, collapse, rise, fall, melt, merge, and shift again individually, and collectively into greater realizations of being. Perhaps, you have experienced something in yourself this year that is 'dead' and seeks transformation-death of a job, relationship, beliefs, or your perspective. Perhaps this year, you were buried in the grave of old beliefs, feelings, and experiences, and now you are waking up. And maybe, just maybe that 'death' experience is creating an awakening inside of You.

I don't know you. That is true. I am an explorer, a multidimensional soul, from another side of the universe, another time, another space, who enjoys creating, imagining, and sharing ideas as usual. Whatever your dreams are, it is my intention to continuing creating a space for joy and courage in manifesting your personal vision, though the journey may be long. The time has come. The party is about to begin!

So, cheers to your resurrection in the New Year, my friend. Even a Christ loves balloons. Happy New Year!!! Love, love-M.L.F.

Kiss of The Reptilians: Using Dreams To Overcome Fear

In an age of paranoia and fear, one must continue to use all their resources to escape the tyranny of insanity and people's dogma. On the journey I've found the ability to use dreams as therapy and a powerful source of visioning probable realities. In the past few days, I've found myself personal questions that relate to this spiritual journey. Before I go to sleep, I ask a question. Sometimes I write them down in my journal, while other times I simply allow my mind to sit with the question, feel it out.

There is a lot of talk in alternative spiritual circles of reptilians, particularly, readers of world-renowned author and lecturer David Icke's books and other metaphysical teachers. I cannot say wholeheartedly there are reptilians ruling the world. What I can speak for is my own confrontation with my fears. Recently, those fears have led me to encounter the reptilian race in the dream state who are represented by crocodiles, alligators, and snakes. I've witnessed them in those worlds and they surround our planet, not with threats but with a presence that involves growth and recognition.

In my dreams, I've walked into the family of reptiles and stood before them face-to-face. They did not speak and many of them were smothered in the bowels of this earth, covered in the mud of earth's dreams; others were dead. The snakes are alive and react immediately to the presence of love. I wanted to know more about fear, and my own.

The reptilian race exist in a parallel world made of dreams and they have survived through their ability to camouflage themselves across the earth. Their journey is a dark reality that blinds them, and leads them to encounter souls who can assist them along the path of spiritual growth. They are not entirely dark, but they have come to represent the 'dark' side of our beliefs and attitudes about ourselves, bodies, emotions, and physical world.

My dream encounters with the reptilian race has helped to face my own fears. You have to learn to be brave in a world full of fear-based thoughts, feelings, and attitudes. To use dreams as therapy allows you to prevent the manifestation of a physical event that may bring illness, disease, and death. Using dreams to overcome your fears can become a powerful tool for remembering what you are, and creating what you want. There are many books, teachers, techniques, and programs out there that also can help you overcome your fears. I just find dreams an easy approach to dealing with my challenges. Plus its free!

So look within. Ask the questions that are important to you. Your dreams will answer. The symbols will speak to your soul. Then you make peace with the world. You use the energy of fear for spiritual growth. That's the kiss of the reptilians. Being present with your fears and the fears of the world is a recipe for freedom. Only you can make your own escape.

Happy travels, my friend.-M.L.F

"A Million Ideas..."

I have a million ideas in my mind,
And they spread themselves
All over the place.
Like a lovely virus in my brain,
They come with attraction
And elegant haste.
Some of them are incomplete,
Some of them are full,
Some come in the day,
And others the night-no bull.
They rain on my head
As I shower & clean.
They knock on my soul
From a beautiful dream
A million Ideas
So free,
so true
To an Open Mind
And A WELCOME sign saying:
"How do You do?"

Third Person: Seeing the Sacred You...From A Distance

Lately, I've been speaking in 3rd person. It is my gradual shift and practice towards recognizing my bigger soul-all over again. That bigger soul holds everything that you are as precious and sacred to the universe. Yes, your life is sacred. Everything in life is sacred. Even those who act as profane, their creativity is sacred.

Through 3rd person speak, I can see myself from a more expansive POV, a greater perception. Perception is everything. You see yourself as having an experience as you create your experience. But who is the You that is creating? This is the journey. Many religious views hold that is God that you must give praise and thanks to. I won't argue with that. But if God is everything, then a chocolate cookie and glass of milk deserves my gratitude as much as the Wal-Mart associate, and hands that sewed my socks!

Back to 3rd person: It is as if I am watching myself in a movie. I am learning to be more aware of him, this personality called Maurice, and get to know him-inside and out-as I continue the journey of sharing my life with other souls. That's the power of 3rd person: Seeing things from the perspective and spirit of a dead man!

It's good practice. Frees him up from the old story of his life. Perhaps a switcheroo in his mind will be the fix. Stretch his personality and thinking. Gives him a bit of distance.

Try it out my friend on your happy travels.-M.L.F.

On Spiritual Maturity Pt. 2

In Part 1, I spoke about moving towards a place of spiritual maturity that doesn't rely on external authority-a teacher, a religion, an -ism, a book, or any system that comes with rules or dogma. So what does it look like? How would spiritual maturity show up in your life?

One of the things I've recognized is how much we live in a society that is built on the need for approval. Spiritual maturity goes beyond the need for approval and leads you to self-approval while allowing others to be on their path. As a famous spiritual teacher and author says, and I paraphrase, you don't go pissing on people, no matter how much they don't approve of you or you disagree with them. You don't need people to validate your ideas and dreams although you might feel the anxiety and pain of loneliness around people who don't 'get you.' You learn to respect others as you respect your own journey and where you are.

Spiritual maturity is integration and transcendence, simultaneously. You learn to be in this world, serve people, animals, Nature, as part of the path of expanding your consciousness. You can work in the office or restaurant with conscious awareness, or mindfulness. As you do, you are going to face bumpy roads. You are going to meet shadows and how you handle it makes all the difference. Spiritual maturity is facing those shadows without the whiny part. Whining and complaining about injustice, unfairness, only creates more injustice and unfairness.

Yes, the system can be cruel, people greedy, violent, but you don't let it rain on your parade, as the saying goes. You embrace the dark that you see 'out there' as evidence and aspects of your own soul, God, Source, and a world that is still maturing. You take charge of your life while obeying the rules of the game, at the same time.

There is a comedy in that kind of consciousness, an awareness that you begin to feel, and know as you grow spiritually. Forget trying to please the world, family members, lovers, co-workers. See if you can be okay with the new self that others is emerging. There is a beauty in that blossoming forward, a surprise element springs forth from your being, and your life transforms.

This spiritual awakening becomes an ordinary and natural part of life. For example, you walk into a store like Wal-Mart and you notice the people, the place, the items, and your feelings about it. You don't hate Wal-Mart or the people for working and shopping there. You accept its reality, and see beyond Wal-Mart corporation and all the horrible things you have heard, read, and experienced with Wal-Mart.

Now, you are not denying your angry feelings, or disgust for Wal-Mart. You let those feelings come through you and move on. You look at it and see what's down there in you, where it is come from, that anger, disgust, and you will be surprised what you will find when you do. You respect people and the place no matter how you feel about it. Again, you don't go pissing on the parade. As a spiritual mature soul, you work to create beauty in something that is nasty and ugly. You greet the associates and strangers as much as they greet and take care of you. You choose to create a unique experience that goes beyond the 'facts.' Ultimately, you will grow confident in choosing to be and feel different about something others perceive as negative or 'bad.'

It is a never-ending challenge that is full of heartaches, disappointments, rejections, indeed. But there is something healing and important to learn from all the things you perceive as wrong with yourself and the world. At first, you feel the impulse to protest that darkness, that 'evil' out there, but then you soften up a bit, and cradle that old wound, that stored pain you want to heal so badly. You learn to walk away more and more from the problems 'out there' and live from 'in here' because that is the 'real world.'

I'm the last person to tell you how to live your life. So much in this world speaks of pain and sorrow. But there is a beauty and goodness here as well. That beauty is grace in a blossoming consciousness that is You. It is the emerging You who is expanding through your thoughts, feelings, and experiences in this lifetime. It is You remembering something you had forgotten long time ago. Perhaps you are someone who understands beyond these words I've written.

The maturity I speak of is a celestial one. It is remembering why you came here to Earth, how to work through your challenges, how to resolve conflict, and make your life work for you. There are many people, tools, and skills available along the way.

That's the cool part about these times. Well, happy travels on the path, my friend.-M.L.F

On Spiritual Maturity Pt. 1

There comes a point in your life when you will no longer need an external authority to tell you what to do. Right now, the world still operates off an external authority system rather than an inner guidance system. As you become mature in your spiritual thinking, you will not be afraid of listening to your own inner guidance. Though you may seek the wisdom of others, ultimately, you will rest back into the bed of your gut feeling. This is the power of spiritual maturity.

The challenge of spiritual maturity is releasing limiting beliefs that have plagued the consciousness of mankind for centuries. Part of maturity is confronting the shadow beliefs that limit your potential for wholeness, greater love, and understanding of All There Is. We are surrounded by the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs of individuals, groups, and media that tells us different from what our intuition says: "Go the other way. Come. Listen." The child who once suffered at the hands of the Parent/Elite Authority must grow up and throw away the crutches of fear and ignorance and create a New Way.

Many people around the world are remembering to listen to their inner authority. They are allowing themselves to shed the skin of their fears and move into creating lives based upon this awakening. This awakening to a new authority will not be taken lightly for there will be those who seek to uphold the old model of authority and as we see in many parts of the world, enforcement officers will be lurking abound.

Be not afraid as you grow in your spiritual maturity. Face those with badges, sticks, and guns with loving arms. This is your path of spiritual maturity, the way of remembering the authentic You. You are not bound by the authority of any other. Listen to your own wisdom and knowledge.

The path of spiritual maturity recognizes the power of finding your highest right and what's true for you and not what relgion, science, and government tells you. Trust your own abilties to steer the expansion of your consciousness. It is there if you look closer. It is there if you will choose to see it. It is there if you intend it. It is there if you notice it.

You don't have to give up things of the world. You can be 'ordinary' while feeling extraordinary. Spiritual maturity doesn't mean giving up the fun and joy of life for a boring reality that dreads the shadow of time and space. It is perception. It is transcedence. It is the courage to move beyond the wounds of your inner child and embrace a new philosophy of life that is your own. Most of all, it is the birth of your personal freedom.

And the beginning of the rainbow.

Happy travels on the path of spiritual maturity, my friend.-M.L.F

Facing The Future: Why I Choose To Be Optimistic About Today’s Youth

Recently, I rented the movie Grownups starring Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, David Spade, and Kevin James. In the movie, the guys reunite after hearing about the death of their junior high school basketball coach. Though the movie is filled with humor and tender moments of friendship and family gathering, you get the sense that its message is more about how we change as they get older, lose touch with our youth, yet we can reclaim those days of youths even though we live among a different generation. We can face the future and all its changes with hope and optimism rather than with fear and cynicism.

How many of us adults have similar conversations with our family and friends? Or even our children? Co-workers? When you talk with them, do you talk about how things have changed since you were a child? Do you reminisce about the ‘good ole days’? So many people talk and write about the state of our youth but when they do, they speak in terms of ‘problems’ and labels using names such as “the dumbest generation” the “most miserable generation”, “laziest generation,” and the latest popular one: ‘the narcissistic generation.” How can expect them to be any different when we perceive them in this way?

I sense there is a belief underneath these conversations and labels that says there is something wrong with our children and things are getting worse. Here’s typical conversation: “Just look at our kids. Look at how they act, what they do with their time, and how they think and feel. They are out of control, and don’t care,” we say to ourselves and others. Are the children responsible for our pessimistic and cynical view of the future?

In 2010, Michigan State University professor Brent Donnellan published the results of a provocative study on youth from 1976-2006 and they concluded today’s young people aren’t ‘ego-driven’ as we believe they are. Donnellan also found today’s youth are no more cynical than earlier generations and that cynicism was true abroad; our young people have high educational goals and expectations; and the current generation is less fearful of social problems. The study found that today’s generation is no different than other generations: they want to find their place in the world, know who they are, and be happy. There is hope for the future after all and studies like this shed a different light on our stereotypes.

I’ve worked with youth for most of my life and I believe there is something missing in our private and public dialogue about today’s youth that follows Donnellan’s study: optimism. I am not speaking of a sentimental optimism that ignores the harsh realities that many of our children face in today’s world and will have to face after we are gone. I am not speaking of a utopian optimism either that echoes Kumbayesque communes. I am speaking of an amazing optimism that is based in a notion of practical idealism. By practical idealism, I mean engaging the world of youth in a way that reinforces our desire to learn, explore, and share in their creative growth process as much as our elders helped us in our personal growth and development. It means going beyond the facts and stereotypes and getting in the trenches with today’s young people.

For 20 years, I’ve spoken to over 10,000 students from every grade level in the public schools. I’ve learned in working with youth that they are naturally optimistic in their pursuit of a better life. They really do want to create a better life even if they appear pessimistic at times. They want to move forward and enjoy new successes. They want to be recognized for their efforts and rewarded for their labors. They want to find their own answers as they seek our support and wisdom. I choose to be an optimist because I’ve the seen the results created by these young people who are making a difference in their own lives.

Listening to their challenges, how they choose to overcome them, and watching them pursue their dreams has taught me how to be optimistic in a world of cynicism and pessimism. Their thoughts and visions reminds me that everyone wants to be fulfilled in some way and needs encouragement, support, and love no matter who they are and where they are from. Through teaching life skills, I believe our young people will grow up knowing there are tools and opportunities in the world to change their lives for the better no matter how tough their circumstances.

One of my heroes is Mattie Stepanek, the poet and peacemaker who died in 2004 at the age of 13. Though he suffered from Muscular Dystrophy all his life, Mattie proudly and courageously shared with the world his gift of words and visions of peace. In his poem, ‘Facing The Future,’ he wrote:
Every journey begins
With but a small step.
And every day is a chance
For a new, small step
In the right direction.
Just follow your Heartsong. journey begins

Our young people want to believe in a better tomorrow, share their visions of a positive future, and create a better world. Though they fall, cry, and fight along the way, they are learning, as we are learning, that each day is an opportunity for taking small steps towards the right direction. In facing our future, the youth, perhaps, we may learn to face something in ourselves. :)

On The Awakened Mind

It is said that nowadays many people are 'waking up.' Many people around the world are taking charge of their lives. They are taking a stand on important issues. They are reclaiming their power. They are learning to listen to the 'wisdom' of their bodies and intuition. But what does this really mean? What does it mean to be awakened in a physical body? It is the body that goes to work in our society. The body goes to work while the mind goes off to other things. The body is doing what the mind is telling it to do because the mind has been taught to behave in a certain way. The body is typing away because it has been trained to type and uses this ability when it called upon. But while the body is typing, the mind is doing other things as well. The body is cutting away, walking around, picking up papers, making phone calls, while the mind is thinking about yesterday, or 2 weeks ago, or tomorrow, or lunch hour. It is the body that is always doing something. Unless it is not.

If the body is doing nothing, the mind is always doing something. The mind is never present in the body. Rarely is the mind present fully in the body. The mind is gone. It is not there. The body can be trained to act as a robot. But you are not a robot even though you may act in robot-like ways. The mind is multidimensional. It can be in many places and many times. Can you become conscious of your body being many places and many times?

Somebody is talking to you at the store. Who are they talking to? You are not there. You are somewhere else. You are nodding your head, saying yes to them, while thinking about food, or the little girl that is crying for ice cream, and the parent that is scolding them. Where are you? Who is listening? The body responds because it is taught to act in certain ways in socialization.

When you sleep, your mind travels off to other things. The body is still and the mind wanders. The body is awake and the mind wanders. The mind is thinking about many things, people, and places. It is dreaming. But who is the dreamer? The body=awake + sleep. Is the mind awake? Does your mind sleeps? The mind never sleeps. The mind does not awaken. The mind is there. It is dreaming. But who is dreaming?

When the mind awakens, the body is no longer there. It appears and disappears. An awakened mind doesn’t need the body to be awake. It is conscious of the body as an expression of itself. The mind is never still. It is multidimensional. It flows through avenues of thoughts, feelings, and experiences. The mind is like a river stream flowing endlessly. It looks inside and out. The mind doesn't need the body. It forgets the body many times. The mind likes to play. It enjoys a fertile playground for swinging, dancing, jumping, tossing, swirling, singing, shouting, screaming, rolling, lying, and running.

What happens when your mind is fully present in the body? What do you feel? How does it feel to be awakened in a physical body? How does your body feel when you become consciously aware of the thoughts in your mind? Where is your mind when it is not present in the body?

Watch your mind. Where is it? What is it doing? What are you conscious of at this time? Forget words like 'meditation.' This is not an exercise in enlightenment. You are already awakened. Your body knows. Your awakened mind knows because it is multidimensional. Be free. Have fun. Play and remember.

On Being A Multidimensional Artist

Are you someone who is open to an infinite reservoir of ideas and attitudes that do not fit into any particular 'box' that has been handed down by your family, friends, schools, and institutions? Do you feel a connection to worlds that transcends time and space? Are you learning to integrate the wisdom and knowledge of those inner worlds into your daily life?

There are many people in our world who I consider 'multidimensional artists' who are learning to consciously mold and create their lives using the knowledge and wisdom from the celestial worlds. They may not consider themselves as such and yet possess a life orientation that belies description. They understand the futility of explaining complex ideas, though they work to design their lives according to what matters to them. Creating what matters to them allows the multidimensional to live in many worlds. They work with the many levels of energy through family, work, relationships, and personal life. They use energy in a way that brings color to their lives and those around them.

If you are a multidimensional artist, then you are living in a time, indeed, where there many souls like yourself while living 'outside' of time. You don't define yourself according to what others say and do particularly the times you live in. You enjoy the power of painting your own life with its rainbows and light shows. You respect other people and their decisions and you support them on the journey of life. You express your ideas but you realize you can change them at any moment. When you are faced with challenges and problems, you work to create better solutions. That is the true nature of a multidimensional artist.

Some people would say these persons are a bit strange, and I have never met anyone on the spiritual path who were 'normal.' Natural, yes, for remembering their purpose, and yet outside of official thinking they live as they use official realities. They are not particularly famous, yet they carry a light about them that speaks of ancient power and mystery. I know a woman, in her 60's, she is an amazing energy healer, who runs a 'mystery school' in New Mexico, and she also works as a counselor in the public schools. She lives in many worlds: teaching, counseling, and assisting many souls in developing their spiritual abilities and gifts whether they are conscious of it or not. She integrates her healing work into her public life as a professional counselor working with elementary school kids during the day and teaching energy medicine in the evenings and on the weekends.

No matter what their chosen careers, they act differently from within, and are creators of living masterpieces wherever they go. Multidimensional artists are aware of themselves as both physical beings inhabiting physical time/space and simultaneously aware of themselves as nonphysical beings who are developing themselves in creative ways.

Through my eyes is a world I perceive based on my own ideas and beliefs that are ever-changing and expanding. I use these thoughts and feelings to color my world as I connect and experience others around me. We are all learning how to be multidimensional artists; how to be our infinite selves in a world filled with limiting beliefs and ideas. We challenge ourselves through difficult circumstances and remember we are not limited by our circumstances. We work to hard to offer the best solutions as we allow our own lives to be an experiment in being a multidimensional being in a physical world.

Perhaps you visit those other worlds like myself, discover new insights, and learning to use the wisdom of those discoveries for your personal life and career. Perhaps you are learning to have fun with the energies as you develop your perception.

There are no special techniques, methods, or tricks to being a multidimensional artist. You are one whether you believe it or not. You are born with the gift of gods to create a life with others for the purpose of fulfillment, growth, and creativity. It is not a divine privilege of youth, although we are witnessing many children demonstrate amazing abilities. Each one of us are learning to expressing our gifts even if they appear quirky, corny, or strange to others.

The famous Dutch artist M.C Escher once asked, "Are you sure that a floor can't also be a ceiling?" And that is the soul of a multidimensional artist: perception. Do you have the courage to see things differently and express that without the need for approval? Can you run backward while others run forward and be okay with it? Can you see the beauty in your orientation as you flow with the world? Can you sense the grace of being multidimensional? What lies beyond the offiicial order of the day? What will you create that is different, original, and yet follows a divine pattern from your soul?



Only You can imagine.

The Fox & the Goat

"A fox tumbled into a water tank and couldn’t get out. Eventually, along came a thirsty goat and, seeing the fox, asked him if the water was good. The fox jumped at the chance. He sang the praises of the water with all the eloquence at this command and urged the goat to come down. The goat was so thirsty that he went down without stopping to think and drank his fill. Then the two began to consider how they were to get up again.
‘I have a good idea,’ said the fox, ‘that is, if you are willing to do something to help us both. Be so kind as to place your forefeet against the wall, and hold your horns straight up. Then I can nip up, and pull you up too.’
The goat was glad enough to comply. The fox clambered nimbly over his haunches, shoulders, and horns, reached the edge of the tank, and began to make off. The goat complained that he had broken their pact. But the fox only came back to say, ‘You have more hairs in your beard than brains in your head, my friend. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have gone down into the tank without thinking how you were going to get up.’"

The fox is like so many people in this world who will do whatever it takes to get what they want. They don't care about your well-being. They will use tricky devices to lure you into situations that you believe that you can't get out of. They are sly, deceptive, and manipulative. At least they learned to be this way in the world. Most of our institutions are this way: the media is sly(FOX news), religions lie, doctors lie, pharmaceutical companies lie, parents lie, teachers lie, and so forth. Hay House bestselling author, and spiritual teacher Stuart Wilde in his audio CD set Journey Beyond Enlightenment says: "The only thing that's available is the lies." He made this statement out of the awareness all true knowledge is hidden. So the fox becomes important in this story on the journey of the goat. This fox we know in our lives has something valuable to teach us. The fox are the limiting beliefs that trap us on the journey in search for truth.

The goat is that part of us that believes in the lies of this world and complains about the lies that were told. He is the mind that asks questions because he doesn't believe his own answers. He is the mind that agrees to the illusion and promise of happiness and 'well'-being given by others. In our lives, we believe our partners when they tell us,"I love you." We believe authority figures who tell us they will make things better for us. We believe the media and advertisers who sell us products that persuade our thinking. We believe we can help the world because it will help us as well. We are thirsty for life and so we will do what it takes to save ourselves while we believe we are saving another.

How do you free yourself from being trapped in difficult circumstances? What methods do you use to escape from difficult situations?

Are you the fox who finds himself in a situation with others that is difficult and decide to manipulate others as part of the solution?

Or are you the goat who kindly offers to help others but find yourselves betrayed by your acts of kindness?

Are you willing to give up your freedom and awareness to satisfy your thirst?

Can you see how you can become trapped by living in survival mode?

Can you see how you allow yourself to believe the lies of others so you can get what you want while believing you are helping them get what they want?

When we don't trust our intuitions, we get stuck in circumstances that exacerbate our life challenges. We become a goat who is blind and falls for the trap in front of him or her. Or we live like a fox who believes we must lie our way through the trappings of life. When we believe what others are telling us, and take it as truth, we meet limitations.

I say if you're gonna be a goat, keep on moving. Tell the fox you will find water somewhere else. And you once you take care of yourself, tell him you will be back later with help!

The Power of Letting Things Collapse

Sometimes I trip over my computer chord when I'm not paying attention. Sometimes I am not looking and step on one of my cats. I remember one time I was riding my bike as a child and I slammed into my brother. It was painful. I learned not to pay attention. I remember the day I was expelled out of the teaching program in college. My mind went blank. It was like having an out-of-body experience. I went numb at first, then the emotions of that 'reality' set in and I had to move on. I remember when I lost all my luggage during the summer of '96 and I became homeless for the first time in my entire life. I lost everything. It was a miserable time. My world collapsed. Everything I thought, felt, and believed to be true was not.

In physics there is a theory that says black holes are formed when there is a gravitational collapse of stars, especially heavy, dense stars. I don't know if that is true. I am not a scientist. But I've seen those stars falling and black holes being made all my life. And when things collapse, they really collapse. You are probably someone who understands how things collapse in your life and becomes a black hole that you enter. What's on the other side? That is the universe of your self-defined success and a story in progress.

In Egypt, Tunisia, Libya, Yemen and many other countries we are witnessing the collapse of centuries' oppressive governments and dictatorships. For the past 2 years in the US, we have seen the collapse of financial institutions, and networks that have resulted in massive lay-offs and shifts in personal and public lives. In Wisconsin and Ohio, we have seen large groups of people gathering together in protest of union cuts. Whether we view these changes as positive or negative is not as important as accepting the value of things collapsing for the emergence of new systems of ideas, beliefs, and feelings.

Are you someone who has it all put together? Or you pretend? I know I have been someone who acted as if I had it altogether when inside and outside things were falling apart. And I didn't want you to know they were falling apart because of the shame. And the shame meant pain and I didn't want to feel that kind of pain.

But in the end, either you change your reality or circumstances forces you to change. Relationships, health, money, career, and mostly, your idea of reality, your beliefs must change. But why would you want to change when things have been going good for you? Why would you want to change if you have everything you need? Why would you want to change if you believe your life is perfect?

And who am I to tell someone to change? What I know is that when our lives collapse, when the system of beliefs and ideas collapses, and fall, something in us is cracked and stirred like eggs cooked in a skillet of a new day. Sometimes I am not so grateful, and I forget the power of being alive, and I get lost in my own self-importance, money-making adventures, and hidden impulses. Suddenly, things collapse and I feel powerless, helpless, and old beliefs of blame, shame, and victimization resurface. But my inner self knows the wiser and better half.

Their lessons are not hidden and mysterious. Their messages are not coded. What I am ready to remember will make itself available when I am open, and ready. Often I ask myself, what will happen if I don't change? What will happen if I continue to believe what I am told? do as I am told? What will happen if I choose to curse myself and others silently? What will happen if I choose to run away?

We are stepping out of comfort zones, reaching out to people, learning new skills, developing new models of thinking, and living. As we collapse, we are seeing things we never seen before and doing things we have never done before. And though we may want to hold on to the 'good ole days,' it is important to remember that every moment and every day is an opportunity to create a new masterpiece for living.

Yes, things are screwed up in this world. Yes, there are some people with dark beliefs and ways. Yes, there is violence. Yes, there are some painful things beyond human imagination. But it is this very nastiness that we are evolving beyond; it is the collapse that we are rising from with speed.

In letting things collapse, a new awakening happens, a new power is born within the ego that perhaps believed otherwise. We are redeemed, saved by ourselves through recognizing our fears, our ignorance, our pain, and imperfections. And through this collapse we can remember to trust and have faith in ourselves again.

The Positive Side of So-Called Negative Feelings

Sometimes I don't want to smile. But in a capitalist society, smiling is money. And it pays to smile. It's healthy to smile. It's healthy to think positive. And I will agree, being positive has its benefits like that new job you just got. So what about when you don't want to smile? when you don't feel like being positive?

Children are not allowed to express the full range of emotions as children. In schools, they are not allowed to cry and when they do, there is a feeling something is wrong. We are told as children 'don't cry' when we want to cry and this is where it started. Crying is seen as something negative, and so we are taught to stop crying. 'Big boys don't cry" and now there is 'big girls don't cry.' How many of us when we cry turn our heads away? Or run for tissue? There is a hidden belief in our world that there something bad about crying. They are also not allowed to be angry and seen as dangerous if they demonstrate less than academic cheerfulness.

The conspiracy against what we call negative feelings and thinking is rooted in a belief that showing anything less than positiveness is dangerous, evil, and bad. Our negative feelings must be locked up at all cost, we are taught, and even teach others. Religions and new age spiritualities have a belief that being spiritual means always being calm, cheerful, and showing our best face. I've learned that some of the most negative people can be the most spiritual as they preach a happiness philosophy and yet hide their shadows.

Am I telling you to go out and show your anger, sorrow, and anxiety? No. Each person deals with their feelings in ways that works for them. Maybe they express those negative feelings with a therapist, a family member, friends, strangers, pets, or just to themselves through some kind of creative arts, sports, etc. Don't you just want to vent sometimes? Let it all out? Don't you hate when somebody is telling you that you are being 'negative' or a 'downer'? If you are being negative ALL THE TIME, then it can definitely be a problem but if you are expressing a point of view, or something they perceive as negative, then that is not your problem-its theirs.

What I am speaking of is allowing ourselves to be fully human through expressing our emotions and moving beyond labeling them as positive and negative. We are meant to express our feelings and unfortunately we are programmed to believe that something is wrong with us if we express anything less than positive, anything critical, and anything that makes others uncomfortable. There is something uplifting, powerful, and deeply spiritual in crying, anger, and so-called negative feelings.

I don't want to bore you with my metaphysical ramblings but we are not here to be perfect by any means. We need a place to express our discomfort as we also search for places of peace and joy. We need a place for displaying all emotions and not just a few. We need relationships and a spirituality that embraces the total human and not part-time human. Could this be why we love sports, arts, music and how they allow us to express those emotions we cannot express at work, at home, or among well-meaning friends.

I cry a few times each month. Its good for me. I get the blues and I'm riding a river of tears. Then other times, I am angry-at myself, world events, people-but then I learn to let it go. The traumas of life is in not being able to express ourselves, our living energies. All life is expression. Whether we call our feelings positive or negative, we deserve to experience ourselves fully in the moment.

And now is the moment. Life is Now.

Living With A Loose Tooth Part 2: Creating A New Bridge of Beliefs

What do you do when a loose tooth has fallen? What do you do when the bridge has broken apart? That's what I asked myself when my loose tooth fell a few days ago and as I said in my last blog: the answer is simple. You create a new one. You fill in the gap...well, the gap is already filled by your decision to create a new identity, a new life, a new world, a new system. And that is what many of us are dealing with today.

But how do you do that? I will be the first to admit there is no right way, only YOUR WAY. So I can only speak from my experiences, examples, and ideas. There are loads of books, teachers, and materials to help you along your way, so what I offer are simple suggestions, with the intention of being playful, in both spirit, and practice. So have fun!!

Get out of a sheet of paper or journal if you keep one. Write the words "SHADOW TALK" at the top of the paper. Spend 5-10 minutes writing down the most negative and worst words, thoughts, feelings you have about yourself, others, and life in the language that you are familar with. When you are finished, read your list out loud. Try not the judge yourself when you do or the words that you use. You are simply noticing your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. You are allowing yourself to confront your darkest beliefs. Be gentle with yourself. And after you finish tell yourself: "I am not these thoughts. I am not my beliefs." Notice how your body feels after this exercise. Does it feel relaxed? relieved? still? energetic? Write down how you feel.

Keep the list of words, phrases, thoughts available so you record any changes in yourself and the results. Building new bridges takes time.

Take out another sheet of paper and do the opposite "LIGHT TALK". Write down the most positive, uplifting, inspirational words, thoughts, feelings about yourself. Read your list out loud. Notice how your body feels with this list. Write down how you feel.

Notice how you feel after doing these exercises. You are becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings but you are not attached to them. You are allowing yourself to express the unpleasant thoughts and feelings as much as the pleasant ones. Allow yourself to create a new bridge between the gap of your mind and body.

Creating a bridge of new beliefs involves a simple process of loosening the old beliefs that are not real, though you believe they are, and reconnecting. And when the old beliefs loosen, they will fall because that is what is they are meant to do. It is inevitable. Many years ago, I stood on top of that bridge, slept under the bridge, and left it to create a new place inside myself-one that speaks of a new strength, a new courage, and a new belief about myself in the world. Something tells me you are an explorer as well, of an unexplained, strange journey, who has fallen into that hole beneath the bridge, seen it, felt it, tasted it, and has worked valiantly to resurrect yourself at its crossing. I congratulate you.

At times I became mentally lazy, and so circumstances forced me to see the gap and make a decision. I resisted the yearnings of my inner self, denied it at times, and now I know that way can be painful. I wouldn't recommend it.

If a lot of this sounds familar to you, then good. So much of what we are learning requires repitition and practice.

So chop, chop! Let's get to diggin' again, and create a new wayyyyyyy!!!!!

Living With A Loose Tooth: Harnessing The Power of Intuitive Decision-Making

You can hardly see it but its there. You can hardly notice it but I know its there. A loose tooth. Yeah, lately, I've been walking around with a loose upper front tooth. And the tooth is not real. It's part of a bridge that I got 10 years ago and now the bridge is falling down. It's been quite a distraction that gets my attention every second now. I know I must make a decision: go to the dentist or continue living with the conscience of my dental vulnerabilities. If you are reading this, you can probably relate in some way.

It's interesting that my tooth has come loose at a 'time' where I'm shifting identities, morphing, moving into new realities. And part of that reality is attending graduate school, challenging myself, and facing more of the world 'out there'-a world I perceive as a bit spooky, scary at times, and yet beautiful, whole, and loving. If I open up to this world, will I be safe? That's been the question I've been asking myself most of my life.

But what does a loose tooth have to do with going back to school? My intuition tells me it has to do with making decisions. See, I've been struggling with making a decision to go back to school after 15 years and so it felt different yet familar to be sitting in a classroom this week with other students. Not that I haven't been in a classroom that long but experiencing the actual reality of my decision to be in a grad school program is a surprise after so many years of contemplation. Simultaneously, I'd been struggling with my teeth, going to dentists, peridontists, orthotondists, for cleanings, abcessed tooth removal, and even dental surgery over many years. Going back to school, going back to the dentist. Should I? Should I not? I've haven't been to the dentist in a while so now it is time to go. To set my school & dental record straight-once and for all.

Then I began to wonder: Is this the right next step? What is happening here? Its been a trip of dipping in and out of parallel worlds of serving food, serving youth, serving clients with intuitive readings, and serving myself doses of metaphysical, self-help wisdom and dreams that needed some real field testing. And so my life up to now has been this colorful adventure(not a safari one), enigmatic in ways that I'm still exploring, and learning about. It's a strange life of new beginnings and endings. Ins and outs. Drunken fights, sober nights. Reckless driving, constant striving.

Along the way, we make decisions in life, and these decisions can be made using our intuition. As we intuit our decisions, we grow in harnessing its power. I've always been a bit timid about making decisions, loose, and maybe weak in the eyes of others. Is it my upbringing? Lack of confidence? Feelings of powerlessness? I've learned, as an adult, my best decisions are now intuitive ones that feel right, good, and gives me the knowing that I am moving in the 'right direction.' Making intuitive decisions takes practice, like a martial artist catching a fly with chopsticks, but in the end there is accomplishment, self-realization, and a sort of inner peace. You feel something there inside of you quivering, and you are being drawn, pulled in a particular direction, that will lead you towards what you want.

A loose tooth is easy to fix once you make the decision to get it fixed. Would you rather live in constant fear and worry? Or would you rather give yourself the gift of a healthy smile? "Keep it simple," a friend once told me. In keeping it simple, there is something I remember. I know what to do: MAKE AN APPOINTMENT!

I am a Speaker. I enjoy speaking. I want to feel confident when I speak in front of people. And I want to have healthy-looking teeth while I do. So I can smile...MORE! :)