You can hardly see it but its there. You can hardly notice it but I know its there. A loose tooth. Yeah, lately, I've been walking around with a loose upper front tooth. And the tooth is not real. It's part of a bridge that I got 10 years ago and now the bridge is falling down. It's been quite a distraction that gets my attention every second now. I know I must make a decision: go to the dentist or continue living with the conscience of my dental vulnerabilities. If you are reading this, you can probably relate in some way.
It's interesting that my tooth has come loose at a 'time' where I'm shifting identities, morphing, moving into new realities. And part of that reality is attending graduate school, challenging myself, and facing more of the world 'out there'-a world I perceive as a bit spooky, scary at times, and yet beautiful, whole, and loving. If I open up to this world, will I be safe? That's been the question I've been asking myself most of my life.
But what does a loose tooth have to do with going back to school? My intuition tells me it has to do with making decisions. See, I've been struggling with making a decision to go back to school after 15 years and so it felt different yet familar to be sitting in a classroom this week with other students. Not that I haven't been in a classroom that long but experiencing the actual reality of my decision to be in a grad school program is a surprise after so many years of contemplation. Simultaneously, I'd been struggling with my teeth, going to dentists, peridontists, orthotondists, for cleanings, abcessed tooth removal, and even dental surgery over many years. Going back to school, going back to the dentist. Should I? Should I not? I've haven't been to the dentist in a while so now it is time to go. To set my school & dental record straight-once and for all.
Then I began to wonder: Is this the right next step? What is happening here? Its been a trip of dipping in and out of parallel worlds of serving food, serving youth, serving clients with intuitive readings, and serving myself doses of metaphysical, self-help wisdom and dreams that needed some real field testing. And so my life up to now has been this colorful adventure(not a safari one), enigmatic in ways that I'm still exploring, and learning about. It's a strange life of new beginnings and endings. Ins and outs. Drunken fights, sober nights. Reckless driving, constant striving.
Along the way, we make decisions in life, and these decisions can be made using our intuition. As we intuit our decisions, we grow in harnessing its power. I've always been a bit timid about making decisions, loose, and maybe weak in the eyes of others. Is it my upbringing? Lack of confidence? Feelings of powerlessness? I've learned, as an adult, my best decisions are now intuitive ones that feel right, good, and gives me the knowing that I am moving in the 'right direction.' Making intuitive decisions takes practice, like a martial artist catching a fly with chopsticks, but in the end there is accomplishment, self-realization, and a sort of inner peace. You feel something there inside of you quivering, and you are being drawn, pulled in a particular direction, that will lead you towards what you want.
A loose tooth is easy to fix once you make the decision to get it fixed. Would you rather live in constant fear and worry? Or would you rather give yourself the gift of a healthy smile? "Keep it simple," a friend once told me. In keeping it simple, there is something I remember. I know what to do: MAKE AN APPOINTMENT!
I am a Speaker. I enjoy speaking. I want to feel confident when I speak in front of people. And I want to have healthy-looking teeth while I do. So I can smile...MORE! :)
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