"To honor and accept one's own shadow is a profound spiritual discipline."-Robert A. Johnson, author of Owning Your Own Shadow. "Life is a game." I don't buy that. Life is not a game. Because life is not a game to me I am not in a race. I don't have to 'pull the race card' to get what I want or to be seen. We used to live in a world where people felt obligated to live according to what they were taught by well-to-do family & community members. And what they were taught was fighting against others, racing against others, and this is all based in a belief in survival of the fittest which is alive and well today-just look at your reality shows. And in this belief of 'them vs. me' there is born a shadow, our projection of our fears. And a belief that life is a game. But I beg to differ.
For me that led to a life of inner chaos where I went along with the sheep mentality of my community. I got the college degree. I worked hard and made decent money. I partied until I passed out. Then a break-off point occured. Then one day I jumped off the sheep train and woke up like Neo in the Matrix. I don't want to rewind those moments or years but they particularly involved my beliefs about race & culture-overall, my sense of identity. Who am I? What am I? What does it mean to be a man of color? all that stuff which is important to examine. I don't want to fill up this space with my somber racial experiences, and neither do I want to make angry with you. But I have realized that I am more than what the world says I am even though the world may not ever see me as I really am and so continue to use its beliefs of perception to see me as they have been taught to see me.(What a mouthful!!) In other words, I am more than just a black man, but you won't see me trying to convince you that I am!
We live in a world that we can focus on a new purpose, a new reason to live, beyond racial, cultural, and even religious obligations. We don't have to burden others with our stories of pain & sorrow. We all have one. But you have to go past your story, and create a new one. You have to go past your need to be right and special if you want to be free in this world. And that is what I have learned. Now it doesn't mean that I live in denial. It means living according to what matters to you, beyond racial, cultural obligations. It means knowing that you are not limited to the circumstances of your past, present, community or racial group as I've learned over many years.
There is a grace of life that comes when you let go of your stored pain and see that you have been sold a bill of goods and perhaps may even continue to use those goods, i.e the belief in victimization, the belief in Us vs. Them, etc. But first you must learn to let it go: let go of projecting your chaos and pain upon others. Let go of making others the devil, the monster in your dreams.
What I speak of your ability as an individual to reach an oasis of peace as you move through this world. Yes, people die. Yes, people get murdered. Yes, people get sick.Yes, people lose their jobs. But this is not about being 'realistic' as much as taking responsibility for your own pain, being honest with yourself, and then as you remember what matters and the circumstances are not the dominant force but YOU ARE, then you create a life that reflects your intentions, desires, and purpose. That's the power of pulling the grace card. The power of making peace with your shadow.
You are more than what you think & believe and we have been told THIS IS ALL THERE IS. And so we have bought into the old beliefs & limitations passed down to us. Now we are faced with an incredible choice of confronting everything we have believed that is not true or live in denial or arrogance of what we think we believe is true.
To live in grace is to live according to your inner nature, as you continue to learn and develop yourself as a soul. It is stepping outside of your own box, that which you have imposed upon yourself, the limitations you have agreed to in this lifetime. Its making peace with yourself, the light and shadow within.
If you need to be out there fighting the world, then charge forth you mighty soldier of the Light Brigade. There is no rush. This is not a race for eternity. What I am speaking of requires a different kind of honesty: one that means stepping back from the world and seeing how you project your thoughts and feelings upon it, how it all comes back to you in some form, and more how you can stop running away.
1. Tell yourself this: 'Everything I believe about myself and the world is not true." This statement can produce the greatest magic in your thinking and feeling. It unleashes you from the tyranny of what you have believed about yourself and the world.
2. Then try this: Remove anything that has to do with 'time' from your view for 6 days. Newspapers, cellphones, clocks, etc. Let yourself sense the timelessness. This moving towards grace.
3. Get out a sheet of paper. Draw a line in the middle. On one side write at the top, 'The Best Thoughts about Myself' and other side 'The Worst Thoughts about Myself.' Be as honest with yourself as much as you can. If you think, 'I'm angel' write it down. If you think, 'I hate my stomach' or 'I'm so mean to my co-workers' write it down. Now after you do this, go back to #1.
4. If that doesn't work, then just sit with those thoughts and feelings, and watch them as they pass through. Notice how they feel. Why do you believe that about yourself and others? How do you know its true? Is it true about all reality? If it not true, then you must accept that it is a belief and not fact.
5. Have fun with this!
I know that this may sound like a bunch of new age hooey, and I'm not here to convince you of anything as much as share with you the fruit I've picked off the tree of my life travels. And I want you to know that the grace of life is alive, breathing within you as you read these words, and this grace serves as its own indoctrination, its own ritual, and way of being.
We are living in a both an amazing, wonderful time and strange one as well. Either way, we are on the brink of blossoming as a new species through all the events happening today and beyond. Out of these events will come a new consciousness that allows for personal peace, fulfillment, and understanding.
Happy travels my friend!
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Life Is Not A Game, And I'm Not In A Race!: Making Peace With Your Shadow
"To honor and accept one's own shadow is a profound spiritual discipline."-Robert A. Johnson, author of Owning Your Own Shadow. "Life is a game." I don't buy that. Life is not a game. Because life is not a game to me I am not in a race. I don't have to 'pull the race card' to get what I want or to be seen. We used to live in a world where people felt obligated to live according to what they were taught by well-to-do family & community members. And what they were taught was fighting against others, racing against others, and this is all based in a belief in survival of the fittest which is alive and well today-just look at your reality shows. And in this belief of 'them vs. me' there is born a shadow, our projection of our fears. And a belief that life is a game. But I beg to differ.
For me that led to a life of inner chaos where I went along with the sheep mentality of my community. I got the college degree. I worked hard and made decent money. I partied until I passed out. Then a break-off point occured. Then one day I jumped off the sheep train and woke up like Neo in the Matrix. I don't want to rewind those moments or years but they particularly involved my beliefs about race & culture-overall, my sense of identity. Who am I? What am I? What does it mean to be a man of color? all that stuff which is important to examine. I don't want to fill up this space with my somber racial experiences, and neither do I want to make angry with you. But I have realized that I am more than what the world says I am even though the world may not ever see me as I really am and so continue to use its beliefs of perception to see me as they have been taught to see me.(What a mouthful!!) In other words, I am more than just a black man, but you won't see me trying to convince you that I am!
We live in a world that we can focus on a new purpose, a new reason to live, beyond racial, cultural, and even religious obligations. We don't have to burden others with our stories of pain & sorrow. We all have one. But you have to go past your story, and create a new one. You have to go past your need to be right and special if you want to be free in this world. And that is what I have learned. Now it doesn't mean that I live in denial. It means living according to what matters to you, beyond racial, cultural obligations. It means knowing that you are not limited to the circumstances of your past, present, community or racial group as I've learned over many years.
There is a grace of life that comes when you let go of your stored pain and see that you have been sold a bill of goods and perhaps may even continue to use those goods, i.e the belief in victimization, the belief in Us vs. Them, etc. But first you must learn to let it go: let go of projecting your chaos and pain upon others. Let go of making others the devil, the monster in your dreams.
What I speak of your ability as an individual to reach an oasis of peace as you move through this world. Yes, people die. Yes, people get murdered. Yes, people get sick.Yes, people lose their jobs. But this is not about being 'realistic' as much as taking responsibility for your own pain, being honest with yourself, and then as you remember what matters and the circumstances are not the dominant force but YOU ARE, then you create a life that reflects your intentions, desires, and purpose. That's the power of pulling the grace card. The power of making peace with your shadow.
You are more than what you think & believe and we have been told THIS IS ALL THERE IS. And so we have bought into the old beliefs & limitations passed down to us. Now we are faced with an incredible choice of confronting everything we have believed that is not true or live in denial or arrogance of what we think we believe is true.
To live in grace is to live according to your inner nature, as you continue to learn and develop yourself as a soul. It is stepping outside of your own box, that which you have imposed upon yourself, the limitations you have agreed to in this lifetime. Its making peace with yourself, the light and shadow within.
If you need to be out there fighting the world, then charge forth you mighty soldier of the Light Brigade. There is no rush. This is not a race for eternity. What I am speaking of requires a different kind of honesty: one that means stepping back from the world and seeing how you project your thoughts and feelings upon it, how it all comes back to you in some form, and more how you can stop running away.
1. Tell yourself this: 'Everything I believe about myself and the world is not true." This statement can produce the greatest magic in your thinking and feeling. It unleashes you from the tyranny of what you have believed about yourself and the world.
2. Then try this: Remove anything that has to do with 'time' from your view for 6 days. Newspapers, cellphones, clocks, etc. Let yourself sense the timelessness. This moving towards grace.
3. Get out a sheet of paper. Draw a line in the middle. On one side write at the top, 'The Best Thoughts about Myself' and other side 'The Worst Thoughts about Myself.' Be as honest with yourself as much as you can. If you think, 'I'm angel' write it down. If you think, 'I hate my stomach' or 'I'm so mean to my co-workers' write it down. Now after you do this, go back to #1.
4. If that doesn't work, then just sit with those thoughts and feelings, and watch them as they pass through. Notice how they feel. Why do you believe that about yourself and others? How do you know its true? Is it true about all reality? If it not true, then you must accept that it is a belief and not fact.
5. Have fun with this!
I know that this may sound like a bunch of new age hooey, and I'm not here to convince you of anything as much as share with you the fruit I've picked off the tree of my life travels. And I want you to know that the grace of life is alive, breathing within you as you read these words, and this grace serves as its own indoctrination, its own ritual, and way of being.
We are living in a both an amazing, wonderful time and strange one as well. Either way, we are on the brink of blossoming as a new species through all the events happening today and beyond. Out of these events will come a new consciousness that allows for personal peace, fulfillment, and understanding.
Happy travels my friend!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
The Relationship Race: Ending The Competition for Love
Are you in a relationship race? Are you 'competing' against family, lovers, co-workers to be at the top? How important is it to you to pause & reflect upon how you are being, thinking, and acting? How important is it to 'check yourself' as you work to check out others? For so many years, I know I was one of those guys who believed I wanted to be in a good relationship but I was not really healthy myself.
Developing new relationships these days can be difficult if we are carrying around our baggage, having the need to be right, making others feel inadequate, or walking around as if we have it all together, or even better than others. And yet, they can be the easiest thing in the world if we begin to become more aware of the unhealthy habits and behaviors we are in.
One of the things I've noticed these days is this yearning for independence in a lot of people while also yearning for real intimacy. However, having intimacy doesn't mean you have to exclude independence. We live in an co-dependent universe, or inter-dependent world. So you can have your intimacy and independence too.
This need for intimacy-that is really natural, and effortless-can lead to competition. But its the kind of competition where you are racing against time, or competiting against someone whom you see as a threat, or you are racing to show others how strong, powerful, & talented you are. It's a survival of the prettiest, survival of the smartest, survival of the wealthiest, etc. And when you are set out on the quest to consciously to create happiness and intimacy, no competition is required.
But how do you take a break from the Relationship Race where you are silently racing against others or ourselves in a relationship? How do you get out of it? Here's 3 easy steps:
1. Get clear about what you really want. You may say this is what you want BUT you may also have contradictory beliefs that get in the way of attracting what you want. Or you may just be lazy. And if you are mentally lazy, there is no hope for you! Sorry...
2. Focusing upon what's right with ourselves can do tremendous wonders for your health. Too often you hear people demonizing others. It's hard to rise above the tide when you are stuck below the waters. And I meet a lot of people who want to be in healthy relationships BUT they don't have the right mind-set. They point the fingers at others so much they become blind to their own fingers! Or they are just looking for someone to dump on, looking for someone to fight with, looking for someone to abuse. What's right about you? What's right about that person who irritates you?
3. Working on your beliefs & emotions can free your agony & pain. If you really examine what you believe about yourself, then you will see why there you have relationship issues. Healing the joy & pain works both ways!
This blog is not about getting the right partner or spouse. This is about ending the competition for love and one that has been distorted by reality TV. You can do it if you want to. If you don't want to, not ready, fine. If you are, try it out. Worked for me!!!
And if you are happy & you know it clap your hands, snap your fingers!
Now move on, you love demon!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
"I Know A Woman"(A Poem)
I know a woman
Crazy for love,
She lives in a
A temple of wishes
High above,
She dreams at night,
About her whence charming
Her night on a white horse,
But she knows life is short,
As she dreams of a course,
Of a different life,
Beyond her own,
Filled with joy
And freedom
And miracles grown
From her sensuous beauty,
Her enigmatic grace,
I know a woman
Who lives in silent power
Yet shines her heavenly face
Before the world
She smiles and knows,
Destiny is her purpose
A family she grows
Through ages and ages
Her stories never cease
Her pain is a legacy
Her strength is peace,
What man can know her story,
What poem can sing her song,
I know a woman
You may know too
Waiting for heaven to come along.
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