The Relationship Race: Ending The Competition for Love

Are you in a relationship race? Are you 'competing' against family, lovers, co-workers to be at the top? How important is it to you to pause & reflect upon how you are being, thinking, and acting? How important is it to 'check yourself' as you work to check out others? For so many years, I know I was one of those guys who believed I wanted to be in a good relationship but I was not really healthy myself.

Developing new relationships these days can be difficult if we are carrying around our baggage, having the need to be right, making others feel inadequate, or walking around as if we have it all together, or even better than others. And yet, they can be the easiest thing in the world if we begin to become more aware of the unhealthy habits and behaviors we are in.

One of the things I've noticed these days is this yearning for independence in a lot of people while also yearning for real intimacy. However, having intimacy doesn't mean you have to exclude independence. We live in an co-dependent universe, or inter-dependent world. So you can have your intimacy and independence too.

This need for intimacy-that is really natural, and effortless-can lead to competition. But its the kind of competition where you are racing against time, or competiting against someone whom you see as a threat, or you are racing to show others how strong, powerful, & talented you are. It's a survival of the prettiest, survival of the smartest, survival of the wealthiest, etc. And when you are set out on the quest to consciously to create happiness and intimacy, no competition is required.

But how do you take a break from the Relationship Race where you are silently racing against others or ourselves in a relationship? How do you get out of it? Here's 3 easy steps:

1. Get clear about what you really want. You may say this is what you want BUT you may also have contradictory beliefs that get in the way of attracting what you want. Or you may just be lazy. And if you are mentally lazy, there is no hope for you! Sorry...

2. Focusing upon what's right with ourselves can do tremendous wonders for your health. Too often you hear people demonizing others. It's hard to rise above the tide when you are stuck below the waters. And I meet a lot of people who want to be in healthy relationships BUT they don't have the right mind-set. They point the fingers at others so much they become blind to their own fingers! Or they are just looking for someone to dump on, looking for someone to fight with, looking for someone to abuse. What's right about you? What's right about that person who irritates you?

3. Working on your beliefs & emotions can free your agony & pain. If you really examine what you believe about yourself, then you will see why there you have relationship issues. Healing the joy & pain works both ways!

This blog is not about getting the right partner or spouse. This is about ending the competition for love and one that has been distorted by reality TV. You can do it if you want to. If you don't want to, not ready, fine. If you are, try it out. Worked for me!!!

And if you are happy & you know it clap your hands, snap your fingers!

Now move on, you love demon!